On the Blog – Page 8

The Things that Keep Me Up at Night

August 11, 2014

The other day Charlie woke up at 5:30 in the morning. This isn’t all that unusual, and honestly, it’s not that much of a bother. I can usually go in, pat his back, give him a drink of water, and count on him to fall back asleep for at least another couple of hours (and I can get a bit more precious sleep myself). No problem.

But on this particular day I couldn’t go back to sleep. I was thinking about pictures. And journals. And memory keeping. And my complete and utter lack of any physical documentation of Charlie’s first years of life. I started to panic. I couldn’t remember Charlie’s first word. (It was “car”, my husband reminded me later. Of course it was.) I wasn’t entirely sure when he started crawling, or walking, or when he got his first teeth. I was starting to picture a future when my children wanted to know interesting details about their early life and they would be dismayed to find that their mother had NO IDEA. I might have been going a little crazy. I’ll blame it on the hormones.

So at 6:00 that morning I decided I needed to get on this. I had read about Project Life from a few different bloggers I follow, so I decided that seemed like the most realistic way to go about catching up on the past two years of missing documentation. Project Life is a system that is meant to be a simpler version of scrapbooking. You get photos printed out and slip them in pocket sleeves like a traditional photo album, but you mix in pretty journaling cards to tell the story behind the pictures. Official Project Life products have pocket sleeve pages in a variety of layouts so you can mix things up and keep it interesting. They also make several kits of cute coordinating cards and journaling prompts. The bloggers I follow get really creative with their layouts and some even design their own cards, so it’s a system that can be as simple or elaborate as you choose to make it.

This layout by Elise Joy makes good use of journal cards and shows a creative way to crop images to make use of different layouts.

This is a layout featured on A Beautiful Mess. I love how the images follow the same color scheme.

Rather than the typical 12×12 inch album, I went with a smaller 6×8 inch size. I figured 12×12 would get too overwhelming – not something I need right now. I also like the fact that the albums are really just binders, so I can fill it with as much as I can get done, but if I don’t get all the way through two years I’ll at least have something and it won’t look sadly incomplete. I can also work out of order and rearrange pages as needed, so I can make a page for things I want to document now, while still catching up on the past.

I’m still waiting on my supplies and photo prints to come in so I can get started on my album, but I’m excited to get going. After I get a few spreads done and have a better idea of how realistic this plan is, I’ll share an update.

Here are a few other photo/life documentation ideas:

Artifact Uprising has really nice looking softcover books specifically designed for instagram photos. I think this could be really nice to make someday, it just doesn’t have the journalling aspect that I wanted for this project.

My friend Tina made a simple and cute pregnancy journal that she shared on her blog. I like that it was small enough to easily update on a regular basis. I could see this kind of photo journal working for a lot of special events in life.
Chicagoland

July 30, 2014

My younger sister made a big move to Chicago a little less than a year ago. She’s working downtown and living in a little studio apartment and navigating the transit system like a pro. But I hadn’t had the chance to visit her and see what her new life is like until this past weekend when my mom, youngest sister, and I invaded her tiny apartment for a girls weekend in the big city.

We fit a lot in just a few days. Walking the lakefront, the Navy Pier, Lincoln Park, and the general downtown area.

We also went spent a full day at the Art Institute. It’s a huge museum with more art in it than you can really take in in a day. I think one of my favorite parts was their large Monet exhibit. They had several examples of paintings Monet had done of the same scene at different times. It was fascinating to see the paintings side by side and compare the way he depicted the way the light and color changed.

The Chicago River runs right through the middle of downtown, so we ended our trip with a twilight river cruise. It was basically one giant photo-op, and a perfect way to end our weekend in the city.
These Days

July 29, 2014

These Days I am:

watching: a lot of Modern Family, and the occasional Weird Al Video

making: a weaving! Hopefully I’ll get it finished soon so I can share it with you.

enjoying: our shady backyard. It makes the summer days a lot more enjoyable.

feeling: a lot more energetic than even a few weeks ago. Thank God for the second trimester.

thinking: that I should probably be making a grocery list right now instead of writing this…

loving: that I’m back home with my little family after almost 5 days apart!
Hey, Goals

July 16, 2014

At the beginning of the year I wrote a long list of somewhat unrealistic goals. A big reason I started blogging in the first place was to have a place to document my progress in life and keep me accountable for the different things I try to accomplish. So here’s an update on how I’m doing on some of my goals…

4. Get stuff hung on the walls of our house – I put up a couple of pieces of artwork by my sister. We still have a lot of empty walls though.

7. Plant a garden (vegetable or flower) – Here’s my flower bed. It’s overrun with weeds, but I planted it and the flowers have lived. I’m going to say this goal was accomplished.

10. Work on rebranding our web design business – YES! We have a new name, new logo, and new website.

11. Develop marketing materials and strategies for our web design business – ALMOST! My sister interned with our business this summer and helped me make a lot of progress on this goal. We wrote up some good copy to explain our services and process and have a rough draft of a brochure to hand out to potential clients.

14. Organize Charlie’s toys – YES! Accomplished mainly by purging a lot of toys. They stay organized a lot better when they actually fit in the space you have.

18. Make improvements to church website – a few small adjustments have been made, but I have bigger ideas for down the road.

19. Practice hand lettering in designs – Somewhat. A few of my blog posts feature hand lettered art.

20. Read more to Charlie – YES! Story time is now firmly established as part of the bedtime routine and we just got library cards so we (I) won’t get bored of reading the same books over and over.

28. Cut down on grocery budget – getting pregnant kind of threw this one out the window.

29. Get comfortable using Adobe Illustrator – I’m slowly improving on this one. Photoshop is still my go-to program, but I’m finding more and more opportunities to use Illustrator.

32. Grow readership of blog – taking a 3 month break didn’t help with this one. We’ll see if I can build it back up by the end of the year.

33. Find ways to make a modest income from blogging – While still a nice thought, I think I want to focus more on experimenting with the topics I write about and find what I like best before thinking too much about how to make money from it.

So there you go. Out of the 30+ goals I set for myself, I’ve accomplished or made progress on nine of them. I knew from the beginning that I wouldn’t be able to cross them ALL off, so it feels pretty good to know that I’ve accomplished at least some. And there’s still a lot of the year left to make progress on even more!
Long Time, No See

July 14, 2014

Hey!

It’s been a while. I have several excuses. First were a few very busy weeks at work. I didn’t have time to be inspired to blog. Then there was vacation. I tried to unplug for the most part. Then came the complete and utter exhaustion that happens when you start growing a baby in your belly. Yep, that’s right. We’ll be welcoming a new little person into our family sometime near the year’s end. And it makes me tired. So, I pretty much just slept for a while.

I slept instead of blogging. I slept instead of doing dishes. I slept instead of vacuuming the floor, and cleaning out my purse, and hanging up my clothes in the closet. If anything, those weeks made it very clear to me that all the little tasks and chores I fill my life with actually do some good. Because when they don’t get done the whole house just turns into one giant pile of mess. Hooray for validation!

Thankfully I have a husband who finds me food and takes over child duty, a mom who can plow through household chores and still have time to play with her grandson, and a mother-in-law who reminds me that such a thing as paper plates exist (so brilliant!).

I feel like I’m slowly starting to rejoin the world, and hopefully our survival mode status can go on hold at least until this new baby is born. Maybe I’ll start to blog some more again. Maybe I’ll organize my closet to make space for my maternity clothes. At the very least I should probably do some dishes.

See you again soon! (I hope.)

P.S. You may have noticed that I moved to a new domain name and got a new design. This is largely thanks to my super talented husband. Who else can code up a functional custom WordPress theme in an afternoon?
If I Were a Rich Man…Romantic bedroom

July 9, 2014
I’ve known for a long time that I have good taste. I like things that are well-made, high quality, thoughtfully designed… and expensive. My bank account has never lived up to my tastes. I usually just have to look at pretty things, sigh, and hum that old tune from Fiddler on the Roof, “if I were a rich man… ya da da da di da di da di da diddle diddle dum…”

But rather than let all that good taste go to waste, I decided I should channel it into the occasional imaginary shopping trip post on the off chance that you, dear reader, are a rich man. Or woman, more likely. But that’s not how the song goes.

So if you’ve been wanting to redecorate your bedroom into a romantic retreat with touches of gold, here are some ideas for you…
1. Round Capiz Chandelier- Gold | West Elm I love how glitzy this chandelier is while still keeping a very modern vibe. I can only imagine how pretty all that gold would be with the light bouncing around in it.
2. Macrame Wall Hanging | Urban Outfitters This wall hanging brings in some more earthy texture but it’s still feminine and lacy.
3. Hadley Ruched Duvet Cover | Pottery Barn The ruching on this duvet cover gives the feel of ruffles without being overly girly. Also, I love the idea of a bed that looks like a big fluffy cloud.
4. Egerton Wallpaper | Anthropologie This wallpaper is so pretty. The colors are subtle and subdued, but the metallic gold leaves make it something special.
5. Simple Hoop Mirror | Anthropologie Any girly bedroom needs a mirror. This mirror is simple but elegant.
Books I Love

April 22, 2014

On a recent weekend home to visit my family, we decided it would be a fun activity to each make a list of our top books of all time and share them with each other. That’s right. My family really is that cool.

It turned into a fun evening of sharing and discussion, and gave me a good start to my “to read” list. So just for fun, I thought I’d share my list of favorite books here – in no particular order.

The Magician’s Nephew by C.S. Lewis

I love all of the Chronicles of Narnia, but this one is probably my favorite of the series. The depiction of the creation of Narnia is beautifully magical.

A Little Princess by Frances Hodgson Burnett

I distinctly remember checking this book out of the church library when I was a little girl (maybe 3rd grade?). I thought it seemed like a very big and impressive book. And then I read it and loved it. It was the first real “classic” I ever read and it opened me up to a whole new world of literature.

Anne of Green Gables by L.M. Montgomery

What can I say? Anne is my kindred spirit and Gilbert is my literary crush.

Harry Potter (the whole series) by J.K. Rowling

I can’t pick just one of these to put on the list. Although I guess if I had to I would say Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. Or maybe the Prisoner of Azkaban. Anyway, I can’t wait to introduce Charlie to these books someday when he’s older. Especially since he probably won’t go for Anne of Green Gables.

A Wrinkle in Time by Madeline L’Engle

One summer when I was a kid my parents decided not to spend their money on cable. So every evening instead of watching TV my mom would read aloud to us, and this was one of the books she read. It was terribly exciting. Since then I’ve read it probably 6 or 7 more times, and read every other L’Engle book I could find. I’m a big fan.

Gone with the Wind by Margaret Mitchell

I think I read this whole book during a family vacation one summer during the long hours in the car. Scarlett got on my nerves (will she never learn?!) but Melanie was the true hero in my mind. She was a good deal stronger than she seemed on the surface.

Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte

Gothic Romance at it’s finest. Way better than Wuthering Heights. Why do they always insist on teaching that one in schools?

Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury

When I go for a long time without reading anything more substantial than blog posts and news articles, I can feel myself losing intelligence. As Bradbury describes in this book, a world without books is a sad one.

1984 by George Orwell

This books makes me thankful for many things. Mainly that things aren’t as bad as they are in this book….yet.

The Scarlett Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne

Pretty gripping for a book about Puritans. It makes you think about the nature of sin and redemption, freedom and guilt.

Tess of the d’Urbervilles by Thomas Hardy

Tragic, but a good read.

The Giver by Lois Lowry

A great book to introduce young minds the the Distopian genre.

The Chosen by Chaim Potok

I honestly don’t remember a lot about this book except that it’s about a couple of Jewish friends and I loved it. I should read it again.

Out of the Silent Planet by C.S. Lewis

This first book of the Space Trilogy is by far the quickest and easiest of the three to read (the others get pretty dense at times), but the series as a whole is one of those that can blow your mind if you can get through it. It brings up a lot of philosophical and theological questions.

Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen

I think every romantic comedy ever made is based in some part on a Jane Austen novel, with the most popular plot being based on Pride and Prejudice. Two people who can’t stand each other falling in love? Classic.

After coming up with my list one of the biggest things I realized is that I read most of my favorite books in high school or earlier. This tells me I need to be reading more as a grown up. So I’m looking for book recommendations! What are your favorite books?

Perhaps I’ll find the time and quiet to read them someday…
Friday Finds // vol. 1

April 18, 2014

It’s a new feature on the blog! On occasionally Fridays I will share my Friday Finds with you. These are things around the web that have caught my eye or made me think. Enjoy!

I recently found the blog of illustrator Oana Befort, and immediately fell in love with her work. Her illustrations feature a lot of colorful flowers and friendly woodland animals – so what’s not to love, really?

She has an Etsy shop and a Society 6 shop where you can buy prints and various items with her illustrations on them. I kind of want a new house with a bathroom just for Charlie so I can have a place to put the friendly whale shower curtain.

Many people have already read The Overprotected Kid from the Atlantic, but I still wanted to share it. It brings out such interesting issues about how children learn and grow and play these days. There’s a huge part of me that wants Charlie to have the wild and free childhood described in this article. But at the same time, I totally feel the instinct to keep him safe by my side where nothing bad can happen to him. Finding a good balance of those two extremes will be a challenge for sure.

Here’s a Christian take on the ideas explored in the Atlantic article from The Gospel Coalition. It mentions how even church – a place that used to be radical in its ideas – has become a “safe” place. It doesn’t often stretch or challenge people, preferring instead to provide peace and comfort. Church isn’t often a very exciting place to be.

Maybe [God] wants for us to pause the Serenity Prayer, lift our gaze to the nations, and get active in the role he’s given us, whether the sending church or the sent one. You have to wonder if Jesus is eager for his people to rise up, risk everything we have, and watch as his Spirit re-enchants our lives.
Be the cheerleader

April 15, 2014

I like to make observations about people in my life (that I may or may not know very well) and try to deduce the internal motivations behind their actions. From there I make broad sweeping generalizations about *all* people *everywhere* and try to find the lessons I can glean from there. Is it good to make these kind of assumptions about people? I don’t know, but I do find it helps me narrow in on the type of person I want to be, and the kind I don’t want to be.

So recently I realized, I want to be the cheerleader.

Here’s my broad sweeping generalization: I figure people fall in one of two camps when it comes to being an influence in another person’s life. The first group are the risk analyzers. When a friend/child/spouse comes to them and shares a new idea they have, or is getting ready to embark on a new phase of life the risk analyzer is… cautious. They want to make sure the person is doing the right thing and has thought this thing through. “Have you thought about this?” they ask. “But what if this happens?” they warn. Out of their love for the person they turn the idea around and around until they’ve found every flaw and pointed it out. All these flaws could bring about pain, and they want to help their friend avoid that.

But then there are the cheerleaders. When a friend/child/spouse comes to them and shares a new idea they have, or a new thing they are trying, the cheerleader is… excited! They see the potential for growth and happiness in this new idea. They see how this new thing makes their friend come alive. Out of their love for the person they listen and encourage while their friend turns the idea around and around and finds every gleaming possibility. They let their friend show them how beautiful this new thing could be.

Both groups care. Both groups want the best for their friend. But I think one group is going about it in the wrong way. Because for every new thing in life that a person might get excited about, there is also a healthy dose of fear. People don’t really need the risk analyzers to find all the things to worry about. Most people are pretty good at worrying on their own. But a whole lot of people need encouragement, validation, and support. None of the great things in life come without some measure of risk.

So in my relationships, I hope I am the cheerleader. I hope as my son grows I can celebrate the new things with him and feel joyful as I watch him grow. I hope when my husband finds a new venture to pursue I can trust his judgement and be confident in him even when he is not. I hope when a friend tells me about something she’s hoping to do in her life, I can provide a safe and encouraging space for her to share her excitement.

I want to be the cheerleader.
When your kid is put on paper

April 8, 2014

We recently had Charlie evaluated to see if he could benefit from some speech therapy. (He can.) And we got to experience first hand the joys of qualifying for state-funded early intervention services. While I think the speech therapy will be a positive experience (Charlie loved his first session last week), I’ve had a mix of feelings about the process, from not even being sure if we should pursue it in the first place, to having to get comfortable with having someone else work with my child on a regular basis, to finding the right balance between acknowledging that he could use a little help while not doubting my own ability as a parent to give him what he needs. It’s that last one that I’d like to delve into a bit here, if you don’t mind. And hopefully by the end I can help some other mothers find that balance too.

You see, Chris and I both taught in the public schools for a short time. It was just long enough for us to know that these types of programs have their necessary evils. Goals need to be made with a specific type of language. Questions have to be asked in ways that aren’t entirely natural. There will be acronyms for everything. We knew parts of it would probably be annoying but we figured we could get through the process without being intimidated.

But even though I knew what to expect, I realized that it’s a whole different feeling when the kid going through the process is your own. I felt like I was given a glimpse into the lives of so many other mothers who go down this road, some with kids with much bigger needs than my own, and many with much less knowledge about how these kinds of things work. Aside from the acronyms and requirements for goal writing, I think the strangest part of the process for the parent is the evaluation.

But what I want you to know today is this: your parenting is not graded based on how your child scores on an evaluation.

It’s strange reading about your child on a piece of paper that someone else has written. Even though the evaluating therapist had gone over her findings with us and had been very supportive and encouraging in our conversation, the official report was just that. Very official and very report-like. Everything we had talked about in an easy-going conversational tone was suddenly being presented as data and fact. Even though everything on it was true, it felt like it was missing some essential components. Like how amazing and wonderful my son was, for example.

So that’s the first thing I learned: You can’t let official reports about your child make you question what you know to be true. They are written in official and impersonal jargon for a reason. He has to become a statistic to qualify for services. But that never means that he is only a statistic. And that statistic can never change his true value. It can be easy to start to question every little line of data on the report.

He can do this.
He can’t do that.
He did not demonstrate this skill.
He did this to this level.

You wonder, Is that good? Is that bad? There are no exclamation points or smiley faces on the report to indicate the evaluator’s feelings about what she wrote. And as the concerned mother that you are, you start to worry that between the lines the report is somehow judging your parenting style or the choices you’ve made. But that’s really just crazy mother brain going a little haywire. We’re so used to listening for the loving, gushing tone behind what people say about our child that when that tone is missing it feels like something is wrong.

But the fact remains that you know your child better than anyone, certainly better than an evaluator who spent an hour with him. And in your gut you already know where he’s doing just fine, where he’s exceptional, and where he needs some help. You don’t need anyone to tell you that. You just need someone to tell the people with the official stamps of approval and funding. And they tell those things with cold, hard facts.

Facts are useful, but they aren’t really how parenting is done. So when your kid is put on paper, read the paper, know what it says, and then stick it in filing cabinet somewhere. You already know the really important stuff by heart.