Reflecting on 2016

It’s a new year. A time to reflect back and plan ahead. Many times I think I spend time trying to plan ahead and make goals, but not necessarily enough time on the reflection. But how can you plan where to move if you don’t even know where you’re starting?

I’ve seen a lot of those “9 best of 2016” photos going around Instagram and decided to make my own. And it was literally impossible. As I looked through my pictures I was reminded of all the fun, sweet, special moments I’ve had this year. I realized that despite this year not feeling particularly eventful in a lot of ways, it was filled with the types of things I love the most: time with my family, simple days at home, learning and growing and living life together. I was reminded to be grateful for the two little lives that I have the privilege to raise. And I think that’s a good place to start as I reflect more deeply on this past year. Even when the details of life get challenging, the big picture, or grid of pictures, is one to be extremely thankful for.

One of my favorite bloggers at Modern Mrs. Darcy uses a couple of questions to reflect on the year and help pinpoint goals for the next. They are “What worked for me this year?” And “What didn’t?” I thought sharing the answers to those two questions would be a nice way to get into some of the more tangible details of my year.

First I’ll start with what didn’t work for me this year, that way we can end on the positives.

What didn’t work for me in 2016

In a word: pregnancy.

Now, please don’t take this the wrong way. Remember above: extremely grateful. We are very happy to be welcoming a new little boy into our family in a few short weeks. I’m referring more to the physical condition of being pregnant. This is a tricky line to walk, because I’m very aware of the blessing it is to be able to get pregnant and bear children. All I’m saying is, it’s hard ya’ll.

The year started with ambitions of ramping up my productivity. I wanted to plant a garden. Learn some new crafts. Plan a million activities for my kids. We were going to go on long walks, and learn to bake, and finally get all those toys in order. I wanted to write on this blog more regularly and do the types of projects that one blogs about. I had a couple ideas of crafts or design projects I could do to bring in a little extra income for our family and give me something to do other than all mommy all the time. I wanted to get more involved in some mom groups so my kids and myself could enjoy a little more social interaction.

And then I got pregnant.

It was a welcome, but somewhat earlier than planned, development. And I just wasn’t quite prepared for the change in plans it would require. Because pregnancy is draining. Pregnancy while caring for a preschooler and toddler took just about everything I had most days. Needless to say, my plans for the year went off the rails. My plans soon became keep everyone alive and fed until I can nap on the couch for a while. So yeah, 2016 has felt in a lot ways like I’m just trying to hang on and get through.

But there are a lot of things that did work for me, some more significant than others.

What worked for me in 2016

Kroger ClickList: Our local Kroger started offering online ordering earlier this year and I have faithfully used it every week since. I’m not sure how I would have gotten through grocery shopping with two kids every week for most of this year without it. Instead of braving the store every week, I can order my food from the comfort of my home. Many times my husband was able to swing by the store and pick up the order, but even when he couldn’t, it was much faster and a lot less hassle to strap the kids in the car, wait for the attendant to load up the trunk and head straight back home. Hallelujah for modern convenience.

Netflix: Many evenings I would fall asleep immediately, but for those nights when I wasn’t quite ready to go completely unconscious I would binge watch TV. Not the most productive or edifying thing to do, but there was no brain power left for anything else. The 9 seasons of “How I Met Your Mother” kept me entertained for quite a while. And now I feel like I’ve caught up on a decade’s worth of pop culture references.

Late night snacks: Poppy has only recently been agreeable to other people caring for her, so date nights have been pretty much non-existent for my husband and me for the past two years. But we have gotten in a habit of sharing a late night snack together each evening, and although there are many nights when we should really go to sleep earlier, the chance to have a conversation while our kids are asleep and quiet is what keeps our relationship alive. If we go more than a few days without those late night chats we start to notice in the form of more misunderstandings and out-of-sync feelings. Sacrificing sleep for more connection with my husband is one of the best things I do for myself each day.

Podcasts: I’ve listened to a lot of podcasts this year, mostly while preparing meals in the kitchen. It’s been a great way to get some adult voices in my ears on those days when most of the noise in my ears is, well, not coming from adults.

Extra shelves in the kitchen: Earlier this year, while decluttering the kitchen, I added four shelves total amongst a few of my cabinets. And it has made all the difference in the world in how organized my kitchen is. Pots and pans that I used to have trouble accessing are now at my fingertips, and stacks of plates that I used to have to shuffle around to get the size I needed are now all separated and have plenty of breathing room. It’s been months since I made that small improvement and I still feel a surprising amount of satisfaction each time I get out a saucepan.

Ivy Kids subscription: We got this subscription for Charlie for his birthday this year and I have been continually impressed at the quality of activities that come to our door each month. I hope to write a more thorough review sometime in the future, but for now, if you’re looking for a way to do more fun and educational activities with your preschooler without a lot of stress and prep, Ivy Kids is a great option to explore.

Kids that love each other: I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, watching my two kids become friends is probably my favorite thing about being a mom of two. Sure, they have their squabbles. They’re siblings after all. But the way they make each other laugh, the way Poppy tries to join in on whatever Charlie is doing, the way Charlie randomly kisses Poppy on the cheek and says, “I love my sister.” I mean… how could it not make your day a little better? I look forward to how their relationship will grow over the years and it’s probably the reason I’m most excited to add a third to the mix.

So despite feeling in survival mode for much of 2016, it had some wonderful high points as well. 2017 will probably be another year of getting my feet under me, this time as a mom of three. Most of my loosely thought through goals for the year involve improving on household structures and routines, with the distant hope that getting a handle on the home will make it possible to pursue other interests someday. So keep an eye out. The frequency of my blog posts here will probably give a pretty good indication of how I’m doing with everything else. :)

Happy new year! And may your 2017 be filled with things that work for you.

Two

My little Penelope is two!

With her birthday a week before Christmas, I still have a lot to figure out in terms of keeping the celebration of her separate from all the other festivities of the season, but right now all festivities are fun and exciting and make her pretty happy.

So for her birthday we had some family over for a Peppermint Party.

She was very excited about the cupcakes and even tried to blow out the candles. Our peppermint cupcakes were made with a white cake mix with pink food coloring and crushed candy canes sprinkled on top.

We played “candy cane hunt” (like an Easter egg hunt with candy canes). Poppy was maybe a little young to really get into this game, but Charlie loved it and Poppy enjoyed putting the candy canes in the cup we had out to collect them.

Then we opened presents and played!

At two years old Poppy is walking independently, loves to play with dolls and look at books, and is finally becoming a lot friendlier to people other than Mama. This past year we have definitely seen her turn the corner from babyhood into being a full-fledged toddler, and her personality is really starting to take shape. I can already tell you that she is more of a daredevil than her big brother, but also very sensitive and empathetic. She thinks Charlie is the most fun and hilarious person, but won’t hesitate to stick up for herself if he gets in the way of her fun. While her communication skills are still limited, she is very emphatic when telling stories. And she’s turning into a real Daddy’s girl, which Chris is falling for… hook, line, and sinker.

Happy Birthday my beautiful girl! It’s such a joy to watch you grow!

Halloween Recap

Happy Halloween!

There’s no denying that kids make all the holidays more fun. I’m not usually a Halloween fan, but sharing in the excitement with Charlie this year made for some fun memories.

We went to the orchard a couple weeks ago to pick out some pumpkins.

Then we carved them. Charlie wanted a monster and a monster truck. So I did my best.

I was impressed that he was actually semi-helpful in scooping out the pumpkin seeds and he stuck around the whole time I was carving the pumpkin rather then running off to do something else.

And of course the main event required costumes. Charlie has become a big Star Wars fan, despite not being allowed to see the movies yet, being only 4. But somehow he still knows all the characters and loves to pretend he is a storm trooper. So for Halloween, we went with a Star Wars theme.

Our town has a great family friendly trick-or-treating event on Main Street each year, so we spent the evening walking up and down the street, admiring all the other people in their costumes, and collecting a bucketful of candy.

My favorite moment of the night: after dinner Charlie asked for some dessert. I told him no, because he would want to eat some of the candy he got trick-or-treating once we got home. At which point his eyes got real big and he said, “We’re going to get candy!?”

I have a feeling he’ll know what’s going on a bit better next year.

These Days // 24

I’ve had a lot of questions recently about my blog. Mostly along the lines of, “Have you quit?” or “Have my updates stopped working?” This make me feel three things.
1. Disappointed in myself for letting this little space slide for so long.
2. Surprised that anyone even notices.
3. Flattered that people apparently enjoy my ramblings enough to check in and make sure they aren’t missing something.

I’ve been meaning to write a blog post to catch everyone up on my life for quite some time. But it’s been so long I can’t wrap my head around where to begin or what to include. So instead I’ll just let you know what’s happening these days.

expecting: Baby #3. Yep, we have a new little man preparing to make his big debut into our family in late January. This is also a big part of why I haven’t blogged in forever. Pregnancy saps a lot of energy and brain function. And when you have two other kids to raise, anything that’s left goes to them. It’s a happy reason be exhausted though, and I’ve been thankful to have a relatively healthy and boring pregnancy so far.

planning: a renovation to help make room for this baby. I’m reluctantly coming to accept that the baby will probably be here before the extra space is, but that doesn’t stop me from coming up with more ideas of projects to do around the house.

growing: a small summer garden. It’s been a fun project, and is pretty much winding down for the fall. But I have lots of ideas of what I’d like to do to expand and make it better next year.

styling: tiny pigtails and ponytails. Poppy’s hair is getting long enough to play with a little bit and I just can’t get enough of it!

teaching: preschool to Charlie. We’re dipping our toes into slightly more formal schooling this year with some reading and math curriculum. So far we both enjoy it, so I’m calling that a success!

hoping: I can get back in the swing of writing and sharing here more regularly. I’ve missed it. We’ll see!

Nine Years of I Love You’s

Today we celebrate 9 years of marriage. The celebration will be more in our minds than in reality. After all, there is life to live, laundry to do, two kids to feed and keep alive and get to sleep at the end of the day. But there are plans for a weekend brunch to look forward to. We know how to party.

We say “I love you” frequently. We always have. Sometimes it almost feels more like a habit than a phrase as full of meaning as it is. But maybe, really, that’s what love is. A habit. A way of choosing someone over and over and so much by default that it can be easy to forget how much power it holds. But the power is still there. And the power is in the habit. And that habit is what is going to hold your love together even when things get hard.

It’s interesting to look back on our lives together and reflect on how things have changed. In in these years of saying I love you, I feel like the meaning has shifted, slightly. The old meanings are still there, the bubbly, joyous, make my heart go pitter-patter meanings, but there are added layers now. A bit more reality and determination. A lot more humility.

I love you used to mean “You’re perfect for me!”
Now, I love you means, “I know I’m not perfect, but I hope you know I’m trying my best for you.”
Now, I love you means, “I know you’re not perfect, but you don’t have to be for me.”

I love you used to mean, “Life with you is going to be glorious!”
Now, I love you means, “Life is hard, and sometimes boring and frustrating, but I’m glad I’m spending it with you.”

I love you used to mean, “I’m excited to help you live out your dreams!”
Now, I love you means “I know you’re disappointed that your dreams haven’t quite come true, but I still believe in you.”

I love you used to mean, “I think you’re brilliant!”
Now, I love you means, “I don’t know what I’m doing, but thanks for still supporting me.”

I love you used to mean, “I’ll never let you get hurt.”
Now, I love you means, “When your heart hurts, mine does too.”

I love you means “I’m sorry.”
I love you means “I forgive you.”

I love you used to mean, “You’re my favorite.”
Now, I love you means, “That hasn’t changed.”

Who knows what the next 9 years will bring and what layers it will add to our “I love you’s.” I do know that we will keep on saying it. The habit is strong.

Happy Anniversary, husband of mine. Thanks for the 9 years of I love you’s.